Welcome to Healing Trauma

Hello and welcome back. At this time I invite you to take a short walk with me as I journey to healing as a sexual abuse survivor. Please stay to enjoy my gem of positivity at the end.

Hello there and welcome back. At this time, you get the chance to walk with me in my journey of healing as a sexual assault survivor. Please stay to the end to enjoy my gem of positivity.

Hello and welcome. Join me, as I share a glimpse of my journey towards healing, as a sexual abuse survivor. Please stay to the end, so that you may enjoy my gem of positivity.

Hello and welcome back. Please join me for a walk through my life as a sexual assault survivor. I invite you to stay to the end, in order to enjoy my gem of positivity.

Hello and welcome back to Raped 25 Years. At this time, you get a glimpse into my life and past as a sexual assault survivor. Please stay to the end, to enjoy my gem of positivity.

Hello and welcome back to my blog, Raped 25 Years. At this time, I invite you to join me in a short walk through my journey of healing from sexual assault and abuse. Don’t forget to stay to the end to enjoy my gem of positivity.

I was in Year 8 at high school, when my English teacher, Mr K, offered to mentor me. I love to write, and I really wanted to improve. So I was flattered that Mr K was willing to give me so much extra time and attention. Just for me.

I never wanted to be a mum. I had what my family called an “unnatural aversion” to children. I thought and treated them as little aliens, not human at all. “Children should be seen and not heard”, that was how I was raised.

We are taught as we grow up (well, I was anyway), that virginity is something to treasure. It means you are innocent and pure. White like the driven snow, I believe is the old cliche. But what if your virginity was taken from you before you knew you had something to lose? That you were tainted, made dirty, broken, before you even knew you were pure and clean and whole? 

To me, depression is an emotion that is literally black. A complete void — like a black hole in space. An all-encompassing vortex which sucks everything into it. It specifically takes all the positivity (both colours and emotions) out of life. There is no fun or joy, not even excitement.

Today I’m going to talk about a moment of courage in my life. I was in a situation of domestic violence which originated from a threat from my boss at work. Alex was living in my house. He’d stolen all my money. He beat me. He used me as an unwilling sex worker, by keeping me locked in my own home, to pay for his worsening drug habit. He forced me to have several abortions, by holding me down for the doctor. To be blunt, I was in hell.

Today I’m going to talk about accountability. I’m going to share with you the gist of the contract I have with my trauma psychotherapist, Dr H. He’s been more than patient with me, but I think it’s time I kept to my end of the deal. My hope is if I see it in all its black-and-white glory, it will help to remind me.