Welcome to Raped 25 Years

THE WORKING DAY

In the morning 

Lots of yawning,

Out of bed

Head like lead,

Into the shower 

It’s on full power,

Dried and dressed 

Hairs in a mess,

Stop for coffee 

Tastes like toffee,

Drive the car

I’m just on par,

In at work

No time to shirk,

Leave by five

Drinks in some dive,

Home at seven 

Feels just like heaven,

Bed by nine 

Now doing fine,

Curled in my den

Then we have to begin again.

I will admit I used a writing prompt for this one. When I was about 10 years old, I read a poem in a book, with the opening two lines. However, I have no idea the book, nor the author of the poem, nor do I remember anything of the poem other than the first two lines. So I added to the first two lines what I thought would fit the feel and rhythm of the words. Given that those first two lines are not my own, I wish to acknowledge the author, whom ever they may be. With all my heart, thank you!

LOST

Forever in the heart

Of the lonely,

My undying love

Will be;

As I live 

I will miss you

Always,

And will never be

Happy again.

The driving rain

Is the tears

From my eyes, 

And the wind

Carries the cries

Of your name

That I call.

Sun is set,

Now, moon, rise,

Forever for you

My love.

It’s not very edifying to admit, however this poem was written in honour of my virginity , which was stolen from me at toddler age. If you have read some of my other posts, you’ll know that I feel that loss deeply. It left me broken. This poem was written in an effort to acknowledge my grief and start to heal.

THANK YOU

Thank you for being the warming sun

After the winter’s chill;

Thank you for being the rainbow 

After a turbulent storm;

But most of all I’d like to thank 

The fact that you are you.

A short poem, I know. However it was written to express my gratitude of the compassion and patience of my trauma therapist. Here’s to you, Dr H!

TRANSFORMED

They say 

“Just eat damn you”

But I can’t;

I’m all choked up 

Inside

With secrets -

Will nobody hear

My pleas for help?

Locked away

Too thin,

The doctors all come

And shake their heads

At me.

Nobody bothers to

Tell me the rules - 

I cry at night

For the pain and

Struggle just

To survive;

Do I even want to?

Help me! Help me

Find some meaning,

Some reason to

Keep going - 

Maybe even

Get better.

I’ve found someone 

Who loves and needs

Me;

She is furry, with 

A lovely Aussie Terrier 

Tail;

She hears my voice,

Even in the dead

Of night.

I might just

Stick around;

I might not disappear - 

Well, just not yet.

In writing this poem, my hope is to highlight just what pets-as-therapy animals mean to people like me. I may be detached from the humans in this world, but I can still make connections with animals. For me personally, animals have never hurt me, so they are considered safe to make friends with and love as deeply as people are supposed to care for each other. Does this poem strike a chord with you? Please leave a comment and share what animals mean to you.

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF THE UNIT

Woke up this morning 

A bloody good start, 

Got up, stretched myself — 

Just like a dog;

Felt so ridiculous 

Now what to do — 

Shower, get dressed,

Damn what a drag!

Skip rotten breakfast 

Not hungry anyway,

Sit in my little corner 

Groups soon begin.

Nervous of the males

Trying to breathe through the fear,

Sit there with my tea

Sipping down the dread.

Listen to each topic 

But it goes right through

My head — 

Yabba yabba talk talk,

What a lot they say,

In one ear and out the other 

It’s just how I cope.

Food they bring 

But still don’t eat, 

Just take and hide away.

Last group ends

And what a relief!

But still not safe

From me.

I’m still in my head

And I can’t get out —

Should I talk to someone?

No! Never fear —

Don’t wash your linen

In public.

I can get around them, 

No need to be clever —

If only they knew

They would lock me up

And throw away the key.

Feeling feeling,

Wish it would go away —

Hate it! Stab it!

A tortured soul in exile.

Bedtime bedtime,

Finally it comes —

Hated dreadful horrible sleep;

Only a short while,

Then we have to begin again.

This poem was written in response to a stay in a mental health facility. In my case, I have had frequent stays in several mental health facilities. This is a result of my negative response to the traumas I have survived. Unfortunately, I have a negative opinion of mental health units, despite having had mostly positive experiences. Basically, I’ve bought into society’s view of mental illness. Yes, that view is changing these days. However, when I was growing up, that prejudice was definitely alive and well. In this poem, I have tried to have some fun with words to describe my experience of a day in a unit. Enjoy!